Finding Comfort in Sex - part 1 SeXStoRY

I'm sorry I haven't been completing my diary very often recently. I've been very busy over the summer. First with Lucio, who I was really in love with, and then with a Japanese businessman who I met in Cebu. But I've lost touch with both of them now, and although I was upset at first, at least I now have some time to myself. I've also suffered a loss in the f****y recently and this has caused me a lot of heartache. My Aunt Natalie, who was only 44 years old, died quite suddenly in late September, and it hit me rather hard. She was always fun to be with, and seemed full of life. I'd been close to her for many years. It was she who had encouraged me to take up nursing when I left school, and it was she who had helped to support my studies at nursing college. I really don't know whether it was this loss that started me having sex without any strings - without any feeling of commitment or needing commitment, or without any sense that this might be the man who might be my future husband, but it was just after the funeral on September 30th that I guess I could say I had my first casual encounter with a man. I went back to Aunt Natalie's house straight after the funeral and got talking to a friend of my Aunt's. I guess he was about 50. He'd been a co-worker at the office where she worked, and I suspected that he might also have been a lover. Aunt Natalie had never married. He certainly seemed very upset by her loss, and as we talked on the front terrace of her house he took my hand and I comforted him. And it seemed quite natural for me to comfort him in any way I could. Words didn't seem enough. I kissed him and then pressed him between his legs. And his hand going up my skirt in response seemed equally comforting for me too. The touch of his fingers on my wet kang kang seemed like an act of kindness. This wasn't sex as I'd ever known it before. This was something altogether different. It seemed quite natural, almost like in a dream, that I should go round to the back of my Aunt's house and lift up my skirt and pull down my pantyhose and knickers to have sex with this stranger who'd I'd only met at the funeral service about an hour earlier. There was little foreplay - just the sex-act itself. His eager thrusts nearly lifting me off the ground as he did me up against the kitchen wall. I guess it must have been over in about ten minutes - perhaps even less. I felt his hot fluid being released into me, and then it slowly flowing down into my knickers as we went back inside to talk to the other people at the funeral. It was as if nothing had happened. Just the wetness in my knickers as I went home on the jeepney to remind me of what I'd been doing at the funeral. Friends have often told me that this is what I should do. Have sex in a casual way, with no pressure on either me or my partner. But I didn't think that this new stage in my sexual education would start quite like this. Or that it would feel like this. I have discovered that I like being comforted in this way....