Diary of a Crossdresser - Part 2 SeXStoRY

Confessions of a Crossdresser (part 2) This is a continuation of my diary on being a crossdresser. This is all true and not a fantasy. My hidden life as “Erica” is real. If you, too, are a crossdresser, I would enjoy learning of your “story”. If you are a man who enjoys being with a crossdresser, as I enjoy servicing such men, let me know that as well. The original posting “Making of Erica” chronicled my early teen years of exploring crossdressing up until, as an adult, I acted on my passion and became “Erica” when the opportunity presented itself. This writing picks-up from where the “Making of Erica” left off. I am fully into acting out and enjoying the active sex life of my alter ego, Erica. Hope you enjoy my diary update. Background: I am a crossdresser. It is an addiction. I’ve tried, but I really can’t stop myself: fantasies, endless looking at pornography, shopping, dressing, masturbation, and inevitably, seeking men to please. I started out as a panty fantasizer and have progressed. If I was a woman, I would be a cum dumpster. Intelligent, attractive, clean, classy, a good dresser, subtly sexy, and fit… but obsessed with a man’s sperm! I have been unable to control myself wanting to be a woman. I’m married, with k**s and I have even been through years of therapy, first for the pornography, and then for the crossdressing. I love my wife and want to stay married. But, I am a crossdresser. I enjoy dressing as a woman, including make-up and a wig. I find this “fantasy” personality dangerously exciting. I like to call myself “Erica”, or sometimes, “Susan”. I think my wife suspects, but we have never talked about it directly. I have learned that it takes work to serve men! Here is the continuation of my story. I love it so… =========================================================== Then it happened (2012 Summer): Early in the Summer, my wife found a hidden envelope. It contained a used condom (it was used but clean except for my pre-cum residue), pills of Viagara and two flash drives. She thought I was cheating on her or using prostitutes. The truth might hurt her more. I love her so much. Why can’t I stop myself from doing this?? I confessed that I used all of the items in the envelope to masturbate. She reluctantly believed me. I just don’t know if she scanned the photos on the flash drive or even read this diary. OMG! I hope not. I’m sure she knows that I’m a crossdresser and that I take pictures of myself. I just don’t know if she has seen them and how that has affected her. I just don’t want to lose her. Update – April (2012) I’m sitting at my laptop in NC, dressed only in red panties. Pre-cum has created a dark spot on the front panel. I’m planning my cock sucking plans for tomorrow night. Instead of posting for cocks, I have responded to postings in Craigslist for M4T. One guy responded, only wanted a smooth T-girl, so we had to part ways. I got two other responses that sound promising, but until they show, one never knows. I think one just wants a blowjob – he claims he is a big cummer (that would be nice!). I think the other man wants to fuck me. My business meeting should end by 3pm, and I plan to visit Fredericks of Hollywood. I love to go there, even though I really don’t need anything. Looking at the lacy things, and thinking what it would be like to be a woman, wearing them, and having sex! I could perhaps use a white or black garter belt, and I always enjoy buying panties, so we will see. After FOH, I’ll get back to the hotel, toss down a cocktail, and get ready. I can’t wait! Report to follow. Later… I did post on CL after all. I couldn’t help myself. I just needed cock so bad! In my room at the airport Embassy Suites now after I had a few Vodka-rocks at the Manager’s reception. I have dressed as Erica and await possible responses from dates… ♂ Anthony was my first. Definitely a BBC. I was able to take some pics of me sucking his cock. We had a great time. He came in my mouth, which I let spill down my chin and onto my black top. ♂ Rick was next. A quick jerk off on my face. Nice. ♂ Then, a big white cock. Sucked for 30 minutes. He didn’t come but I did (in my panties! The lace rubbing against my hard cock was just too much. My date played with my cum). He wanted to fuck me. I wanted it, too, but was scared, so after I came, things just fell apart and we didn’t continue with the fucking idea. ♂ Another guy stopped by while my BWC was there but didn’t want to come in and participate My d***ken night of cock sucking (3) ended, and I went to bed dressed in my lingerie. Update – May (2012) I continue to vow to stop acting out. I love doing it, but feel so badly afterwards. I worry that I could catch some STD and harm my wife, or my f****y. Yet, I continue. This trip, again to NC, was perfect. I had very little to do. A casual business evening, with several cocktails. Then back to my hotel room at the Embassy Suites, in time for the complimentary cocktail reception. Under my man-clothes, I dressed in stockings and panties and went down to the reception. I downed a couple of cocktails, and used my laptop to post on CraigsList for cock. My erection tingled in my panties as I posted. Hitting the “post” button is such a thrill! I refreshed my double vodka on the rocks and went upstairs to do my make-up and wait for responses. I was so excited. I had a lot of interest, but mostly guys who just wanted to email endlessly. I hate that! I was able to get three cocks to come over. ♂ The first two guys were unremarkable. I was so fucking d***k, that I actually recall little. I know that I sucked them off, and that they came on my face and chest, but that is all. ♂ I had two no-shows. ♂ The third and final cock was a well hung black guy. We talked. I dropped to my knees and he relaxed on the sofa in my room. My head was spinning as I did my best to please him. When it became obvious that this guy wasn’t going to be able to climax, he offered his apologies and said he would leave. He helped me to my feet. I stumbled on my spike heels and fell. He laughed, and helped me up again, and departed. d***k and alone, I slipped off my heels and wig. Then, I slipped under the covers, still wearing my stockings, bra, and panties, and feel asl**p (passed-out) quickly.. The next morning, I was just so hot for a cock that I had to try one more time. I had the morning free, a Saturday morning. Still in my clothes of last night, I posted on CL seeking a man/men to please. I cleaned up, touched up my make-up, slipped on my heels, and put my blue wig back on. I was ready, and although my head was cloudy, I was feeling sexy. I didn’t have to wait for long. Two very solid leads came in. A couple of weaker “hey, baby” replies I ignored. I arranged my dates and waited. While I waited, I surfed xHamster and watched facial porn…always inspirational. There was a knock on the door… A handsome, trim, mid-30s white guy smiled at me as I opened the hotel room door and he looked me up and down. He came in quickly, and walked over to the sofa. As he dropped his shorts (he had nothing on underneath), he saw that I was watching facial porn. His face lighted-up. “Nice!” he said, “come here, bitch.” I went to him. He had me stand and turn around for him. Feeling my panty-covered ass and cock, he smiled. He pressed on my shoulders to kneel in front of him as his eyes were glued to the show on my computer. His cock was already at attention, and I went to work. Slowly at first, I took his cock in my hand and, looking up at his face, kissed the tip of his cock. He smiled and his cock twitched. I lowered my mouth on him and he moaned softly. I began moving my hand up and down on his shaft, and working my mouth. Then he stopped my hand, and said, “pinch my nipples, you bitch! Just use your mouth” I did as he instructed, and rather enjoyed the challenge. He had great staying power. He wanted me to kiss and suck his balls. “You can’t hurt me, bitch.” I heard him say. “Go ahead.” “You want me to fuck you, don’t you, bitch?!” he smiled down at me. My eyes must have shown my shy interest. He lifted me to my feet and had me bend over. He pulled my panties aside, at which point I stopped him. “Safe sex only,” I insisted. If I hadn’t, I knew he would have pushed his hard cock inside of me then and there. “You have condoms?” he asked. I replied by getting to my feet (I was more steady on my spike platforms than I was last night) and moved to the bedroom (I had a two-room suite) to retrieve my condoms and lube. He followed me eagerly. “On the bed, bitch. On your back and open your legs”, he commanded me. I pointed to the condoms and lube and I dashed to the bathroom to grab a bath towel. I really haven’t had enough experience with anal sex to know if I would bleed or not. I spread out the towel, dropped my panties, and laid back. He took control, pushing my stocking-covered legs in the air and opening them. He started playing with my erection. “Please don’t. I don’t want to cum. Not yet. Please…” I begged him. I was serious, not just role playing. I knew I had a second cock coming to see me and didn’t want to loose my passions too early by climaxing. He answered that he wouldn’t, but continued to play with my excited cock. “Please don’t,” I pleaded. He answered by wiping the pre-cum off on my cock head and wiping it on my lip stick covered lips. “Do you like that?” he smiled. “Yes” I replied. With that, he took his condom-covered, lubed cock, and pushed it deeply into my ass with one long, slow push. I knew to push back on his pressure. He moaned from pleasure, and I moaned from the sensation of his cock pushing into me. The pain subsided quickly, and he slowly began pumping me. Our thighs made a slapping sound and I could hear the bed springs creek with his thrusts. I was on my back, legs up and open, as he stood at the foot of the bed. He held my legs up as he thrust into me. At last! I was so excited and now knew what it felt like to be a woman getting fucked. Reading my mine, he asked “You like that, bitch?”, looking down at me as he thrusted. “Yes” I replied. I really did like it. And so did he. My man reached down to play with my erection as it bounced from his thrust. “No, please…” I pleaded again. He laughed but continued to play. It was all I could do not to cum. The sensation of being fucked like a real woman, and having my cock masturbated by my stud, was threatening to send me over the edge. Abruptly, he stopped. “I want you to suck me, bitch,” he said and pulled me to my feet. Leading me back to the front room, he restarted the xHamster facial cumshot video, adjusted the monitor so he could see it clearly, and directed me to my knees in front of him. He pulled his condom off, and dropped it in front of me. I didn’t need any further instruction. His erection awaited my lips, and I complied. I did all I could, including pinching his nipples. Finally, after at least ten minutes of my sucking, he asked breathlessly, “Where do you want it, bitch? I’m going to cum…” “Cum on my face,” was my excited reply and I pulled his cock out of my smile. Looking up and watching his face, as he watched the video, I saw him move his hand to his shaft and begin to masturbate. I smiled and positioned myself under his pumping hand. With his other hand, he grabbed my hand and moved it to his nipples. I knew he wanted me to pinch him, so I did. Hard! Finally, with a grunt and a shudder, he came on my face. He had several spurts of cum for me. I watched his satisfied face as I felt his sperm drip down my face on onto my lap. Without another word, he started to dress. Just then, there was a knock at the door. We looked at each other. “My other date”, I said as he motioned me to wait before opening the door. He dressed. I cracked the door and said to whoever was out there “hold on”. A moment later, I opened the door to allow my 1st date to depart and my second one to enter. A large black man, named Reggie, came in, passing my exiting date without a word. He didn’t seem to pay attention to my apology for my previous date. He just moved to the sofa. With an eye on the facial video still playing, he dropped his trousers. I dropped to my knees and began to play with his cock, kissing his black cockhead. He pushed my head down to his lap, and I began working with my mouth. He continued to alternatively watch the video and my action. It wasn’t long before I heard him say, “Oh, shit. I’m going to cum…” “Will you cum on my face?” I asked. He replied by taking his erection in his hand and masturbated. Since he was seated on the sofa still, I turned around, legs pointing away from the sofa, and laid in front of him on the carpeted floor. I looked up at his hand stroking his cock. Moments later, he came. A couple of spurts on my face, and he was done. I smiled and sat up. “Thank you”. “Thank you,” Reggie returned as he stood and pulled up his pants. Moments later, he was gone. I went back to my computer to watch the facial compilation video. Erection stretching the front of my panties, I replayed my morning’s activities. I was satisfied with my womanly performance and wonderful fucking. I was so horny! Reaching down to my panty covered cock, I stoked my erect shaft through the white lace, quickly masturbated and came powerfully in my panties! Two (2) quick blowjobs and a good fucking! What a day! By my count, I have sucked 146 cocks (that I can remember), have had 2 attempted fucks, and 2 successful fucks. Not bad. But I have to stop before my wife leaves me! I want to suck cocks, but I so want to enjoy a happy, and safe and trusting, marriage. Can I do the right thing? “Final” Chapter June (2012): I have purged 90% of my “Erica” stuff: panties, bras, shoes, wig, make-up, skirts and tops. Unable to part with everything, I kept three string bikini panties: pink, white lace, and red, and a red garter belt along with red, white and black hose. My intent is just to use this lingerie to fantasize and masturbate with, and on. I sent the many pics of me as “Erica”, many cum covered faces, to an email account, just to keep them. I also saved some of my fantasy stories that I wrote and some of my favorite porn pics from the Internet. I have deleted all of my thumb drives of my thousands of downloaded pics (2,134 to be exact). Let’s see if this takes hold. I want to stay married to a woman who has been very tolerant of me. She knows or suspects a lot, but if she knew the truth, it would really hurt her. I owe it to her, and to me, to stop this fantasy, escapism, life style. Will this really be my “Final” chapter of my story?   Prolog (Summer) 2012: Well, my wife found my last not-so-hidden treasuries. Maybe I want things to get found?? They are now gone. So, I am 100% clean from Cross Dressing. Heading into the Holiday Season has always been a tough time for me. Wandering around in stores and seeing all of the sexy clothing has a way of driving me back on my addiction. So, I’m glad that I am purged, healthy, and happy. So far, so good. But I know I will miss those sexy pink panties…  Fall (Sept 2012) It happening. I’m starting to think about all of the wonderful excitement of cocksucking again. Damn! Time just blots out the guilt, pain, and danger, and all I recall is the excitement of arranging dates, dressing, and performing as a woman. Why do I love it so? I have found myself thinking about it non-stop. My drinking has increased, and I’m worried. But, what can I do to stop myself? Halloween is just around the corner. This means that brightly colored wigs will be readily available. I just know that I want one. Then it will be the “gift-giving” holiday season and I will justify strolling through the well-stocked stores and looking at women’s underwear and clothing. I am starting to set aside spare cash, and Viagara pills. I have spent all day at work today in updating this manuscript. Over the past weekend, fantasizing about cock sucking, I recorded any memories I had for my story and have updated this document with those items. Its happening. I have reopened several email accounts. I also went to my current xHamster account that I just couldn’t close, but did my best not to visit and I reactivated my prior account that contained a lot of “friends” and pics. As a side note, one of the reasons I kept an xHamster account was so I could monitor the pics and vids I had posted of myself. It was a crazy thrill, but I posted lingerie, masturbating, and facial cum shot pics of me, as well as several vids of me all dressed-up and fucking my ass with a large rubber cock, as well as vids of me masturbating. I didn’t want to lose these, nor the many contacts they had generated. Its happening. I have taken private time in the office to write in this journal and to transfer some of my saved porn files back to my thumb drive. It provides me with an escape from boredom and a thrill in my loins to do this. I have even begun to think-through my shopping list and needed items. Here is my list (I enjoy shopping the “sale” racks to save money. Sometimes, items don’t fit well or look as I’d like. Also, I know that at some point, these items will be thrown out. I don’t like to shop at specialty Lingerie stores anymore, like Victoria’s Secret, etc. They are overpriced and I stand out too much when I’m there. My Shopping List: 1. Panties – white or pink (JC Penney’s $20) 2. Stockings – white, nude, and/or black (Penney’s, Walmart, or FOH $10) 3. Short black skirt (Kohl’s $20) 4. Heels (Payless Shores $25) 5. Bra – white (Walmart or Penney’s $20) 6. Garter Belt (Target or FOH $20) 7. Top – black (Kohl’s $20) 8. Necklace (Target or Walmart $20) 9. Make-up (d**g store $25): a. Lip stick b. False eye lashes c. Mascara d. Eye shadow e. Rouge 10. Wig – blonde, pink or blue ($20) 11. Condoms ($15) 12. KY ($10) Total ~$225-$250 I went shopping on the way home from work yesterday. I made a premeditated trip to Target to see if they had any bra-panty-garter belt sets. Their website indicated one model, which was on closeout. I was so excited to plan and then visit the store. Here is what I bought: ♀ Black low cut, halter top, silky short dress – it was on the clearance rack, reduced from $25. It was an XL, but at that price, even if it doesn’t fit, it was worth the gamble. Cost $8 ♀ Matching off-white Garter Belt, push-up bra, and thong set (not fond of thongs), also with a clearance tag. List $10 + $ 20 + $8 = $38. Cost $19 ♀ Black thigh high, lace top, stay-up stockings. Cost $8 ♀ Choker necklace that is more of a Halloween item than a piece of jewelry. I will try it on to see if it looks ok. If not, I spotted some options in collar-type necklaces for around $15. Cost $5 ♀ Purple wig. I had a choice of pink, purple or teal. I thought that the pink was too aggressive. I was torn between the teal and the purple, but selected the later. Thank goodness it is Halloween time so these kinds of wigs can be found. Cost $8. ♀ Total cost of $48 vs. a forecasted cost of $140. My biggest savings came from buying the clearance dress rather than a skirt and top. Hopefully, I will look good in this dress. I think it will be very short and show off the tops of my gartered stockings, make a view of my panties easy, and allow my pussy to be accessible. The matching thong will likely be joined by the acquisition of more panties, and the bra was a 36C, so it may not fit. I need to find private time to try on everything, and a safe place to hide everything. My track record is not too good. Right now, they are stowed in a trunk area storage compartment. Update: I’m alone again. I’m just wearing my new ivory color lace panties. It feels so good to be back! I’m laying on my bed watching xHamster cumshot compilations, I want a cock…no, “cocks” in my mouth so badly. The sexy girls getting their smiling faces covered with delicious sperm…so exciting! I tried on my new outfits with mixed success: ♀ Good: bra, garter belt, black dress ♀ Okay: black stay-ups (I put a run in them unsuccessfully trying to hook them to my garter belt), wig (maybe it just needs to be brushed out), thong (I’d prefer full back panties ♀ Return: choker (just not right) ♀ Will buy: o Collar necklace o Nude or white stockings o Halloween colorful false eye lashes o Heels o Panties…panties…panties(sheer white & pink) o Make-up and regular false eye lashes o Condoms & KY I went downstairs in my dress, stockings, wig, and lace thong to check the Internet. No one is home, and I only need to be careful what may be viewable through the windows. I felt sexy but really wanted my heels and gartered stocking on my legs instead of the thigh highs (which have a run already). I went to the J.C. Penney’s website to see if they show the panties I loved so much and that my wife had thrown out. They did! Nice. Stretchy string-sided full back bikinis, either in stretch lace or solid pastels. Then I looked at heels and wigs at Kmart and then heels at Payless Shoes. By this point, my cock was aching for attention, so I went to xHamster to watch one of my saved cumshot compilation vids. Within two minutes, I had a hand full of my cum! Ah! Nice! I am back. Now to get cleaned up and back in my man-clothes before anyone gets home. My lack of travel may be for my own good, but I need to suck some cocks soon! Update: I’m in the basement “watching TV”. One daughter is upstairs while my wife and other daughter are out. Again, I’m dressed in my new black thigh highs, and white thong. Nice. I returned the choker and bought a nice new wire necklace with a hanging gold medallion. I can imagine it bouncing back and forth as my head bobs on a dick or as my pussy gets fucked. Nice. Not all good news, though. I have already run both of the stockings, the thong is too loose to contain my cock, and the wig just won’t do. I researched heels, panties, and wigs earlier today and plan to go to Kmart soon for the heels and wig, then to Penney’s for the panties. Shopping is fun, but I would like to complete my outfit soon. I may go to a downtown d**g store this week to buy condoms, make-up and false eye lashes. Last night, I fantasized about telling my wife that I was a crossdresser. At first, she was mad and didn’t want to talk about it. Then she pretended that it wasn’t true (denial), and finally she accepted it and wanted to know more. I told her my history as a crossdresser, leaving out the adult book stores, and my numerous encounters with men. I did use this as a background to explain my obsession with porn (which she knows about). I was credible and she accepted this new revelation by her husband. The reality of this hypothetical situation is that she would just not want to know about it, but in my fantasy, she appreciated me “coming clean” and went so far as to reward me with the many bags of sexy lingerie she had discovered, and that I thought she had thrown out. I got back some wonderful things! That would be so nice. I couldn’t see ever dressing in front of her, but if she could accept that my crossdressing was okay as long as no one else knew, I could dedicate a dresser drawer to keeping my sexy under things going forward. Oh, well, one can dream! Well, I’d better get cleaned up and prepared for returning wife. TTFN. Update: Here is my current list of my shopping successes: 1. Panties – white or pink (JC Penney’s $20) 2. Stockings – white, nude, and/or black (Penney’s, Walmart, or FOH $10) 3. Short black skirt (Kohl’s $20) 4. Heels (Payless Shores $25) $15 Payless 5. Bra – white (Walmart or Penney’s $20) 6. Garter Belt (Target or FOH $20) 7. Top – black (Kohl’s $20) 8. Necklace (Target or Walmart $20) 9. Make-up (d**g store $25): a. Lip stick b. False eye lashes $18 c. Mascara d. Eye shadow e. Rouge 10. Wig – pink or blue blond ($20) 11. Condoms ($15) 12. KY ($10) I will look for heels at Kmart or Payless Shoes - sandal footed spike heels, size 10. I’m excited and almost ready to transform into Erica, although, with the thrill of shopping, I will likely buy more sexy things. Update (late October): All I need now is panties! I bought silver spike heels (Payless Shoes $15) and black stay up hose (Kmart $5). I checked Penney’s for my favorite string bikini panties but only found sexy, but flimsy, lace bikinis that wouldn’t restrain my hard cock. I need to find nice, soft string bikinis that feel good and hold my cock in place! Penney’s doesn’t carry the string bikinis that I adore, but I found them, on-line at Sears. Now I am excited thinking about when I can stop at Sears. I love shopping for panties! Update: My old “flame” found my email account again. He knows that, when I cancel my email, I always reopen the same user name six months later. I don’t know what to do. Dick is a “cock”, but he can’t cum due to a prostate procedure. He is an older gentleman who serves me wine, treats me like a lady, and then wants to have gay sex. If I can convince him to allow me to stay in person, as Erica, and then have him try to fuck me, maybe it would work. I’m not sure. We have been on-and-off for several years now. I want occasional cock and seed; Dick wants a regular relationship with a gay male friend. I enjoy the attention but want some sperm. I’m traveling back home now. I watched an incredibly exhilarating xHamster video this morning. Somehow, I stumbled on a vid of a guy fucking a clear inflatable doll. What was so much fun to watch was his cock moving in and out of her transparent pussy, and what it looked like to see him explode his manly seed deep inside of her. Too cool! When his cock erupted, you could see the sperm shoot inside of her in a pool of white, and then leak down his shaft towards her opening. I so wanted to eat her cream pie! Watching his white sperm getting deposited inside of her was so sexy! I went to his account and noted some of his comments that lead me to believe that he, too, was a pre-mature ejaculator. I wrote him a note but he wasn’t accepting comments from transsexuals. This was odd as he was wearing hose and heels as he fucked his make believe woman. Anyway, what a thrill. I’m planning to stop at Sears on my way home tonight, hoping to find those panties I like. I have no idea when I will be able to dress again, but when I can, I will be fully prepared. Update (10/3/12): I did stop at Sear’s the other night and was able to replace my favorite pink and white lace string bikinis that I has lost the last time my wife found my things. I am wearing the white lace ones now. I’m in the office and am headed down to visit my mother tonight and tomorrow morning. I decided to dress in panties, garter belt and black hose during my day in the office. I changed in the men’s room, scared that someone would walk-in on me. I was in a stall, but had to remove my pants, shoes and socks to put on my sexy things. I had just buttoned up and flushed the toilet, when another man came in. He didn’t see or suspect a thing. Now, I am sitting at my desk, secretly wearing my feminine outfit under my man-clothes. Hope no one can spot the little knots made by the clasps of the garters through my pants! My decision now is a choice between: a. Posting on Craigslist for a cock, or two, between here and the beach area. Considerations: i. My wireless access is messed up and the technician is due to look at it today. Without it, I can’t safely access the Internet to post or check for responses. ii. Time: do I have enough time to post and respond? iii. Time: do I have enough time to detour, stop and dress, and perform before needing to get to my mother’s? iv. Quality of men: I checked the current TFM and MFT posting and was not impressed by what I saw. Rough, rude, in search of passable trannies… b. Contact Dick for a quick fuck. Considerations: i. Since he can’t cum, is it really enjoyable for me? ii. I would enjoy dressing in front of him and sipping wine, but would the expected chatter be boring? I just want sex. iii. Dick wants a relationship. I want sex. If I start back up with him, he will bug me to come by more often, which I just can’t do. c. Go shopping. Considerations: i. I could use a better fitting garter belt and some colored hose. Of course, panties are always exciting to buy. I could stop at a mall en-route and shop. ii. There is an adult bookstore on the way. I could also stop there to brose. They may have colored hose. I hate to spend money on porn CDs or magazines as they are sure to be found by my wife. I could also look for a replacement dildo for the nice cock that I lost the last time. Its fun to play with, and video, myself getting fucked. d. Go straight to my mother’s, have dinner out, have some cocktails, and then make up a story about meeting a couple for drinks and go cruising. Considerations: i. Rehoboth Beach is a major gay hangout. I don’t want gay men, per se, and I’m scared to go trolling due to the higher risk factor of consorting with other, active gay-bi men. ii. Where would I go? iii. Will I have wifi connections so I can post for cock(s)? So, the next time I write, I will tell you what I did… Erica Returns (October 3, 2012) I posted on CL. My first hit was one of those brusque “one liner” responders. I didn’t like him from the beginning. He won’t answer my questions or say anything other than “where r u?”. Three other responses looked promising but location and timing just didn’t work out. Finally a good response came-in and included a nice cock pic. It looked like my cock (nice shape with big cut cockhead) but only better. He was thicker, smooth, and beautiful. We arranged to meet at a convenience store just off my planned route of travel. I left the office, the feel of the gentle tug of my garter belt straps on my thighs sent an exciting tingle through my body as I walked. I was going to do this! I stopped at an adult book store, which was along my route. I was tempted to buy a dildo to use on my pussy for practice, but decided to wait on that purchase. Nothing else caught me eye. I then drove about 45 minutes to our meeting spot and parked. I had sent my “date” a description of me and my car. I was early and waited…and waited. A middle eastern man drove up and parked next to me. He got out and we made eye contact. He was also waiting for someone. Was this my cock? It was after our arranged meeting time, so I rolled down my window, held up my five fingers, and asked “are you meeting someone at 5 o’clock?” He answered oddly and I wasn’t sure if this was my guy or not. When nothing happened after another ten minutes, I decided that I needed to go. I drove away, still unsure of the guy I spoke to. At the next traffic light, I noticed a strip mall, and… a sign for “Desires - Lingerie and Novelties”! Cool! I would go shopping for colored stockings and maybe another garter belt. Before I went in, I checked my iPhone to see if my guy had contacted me. His handle was “Stiffy Johnson”. And there was a message. He had overslept from his nap and had missed all of my emails. Could I still meet him? “Yes!” I replied. I still wanted to go inside the shop, so I did. They had a good selection of lingerie, so I picked up a pair of red stockings and a pair of white stockings ($18) and then I hustled out to go meet my man. I drove back to the Royal Farms convenience store and noticed a man in a pickup truck who held my gaze as I drove by. Since I had no description of my guy, I parked and waited. Around came that white pickup, slowly moving. Our eyes locked, and I nodded, trying to project my thoughts: “Yes, it’s me. Your cock sucking Erica”. Of course, I didn’t actually say this. He smiled and motioned for me to follow him. We drove two miles to his place. We parked, said hello and went inside. He offered a bathroom for me to change and went off to shower himself. I was so excited. I slipped out of my man clothes. It was nice to have my stockings, garter belt and panties already on. My cock was stiff against the stretchy white lace of my new panties (I had swallowed a Viagara on the way down). Pre-cum had already created a damp spot on the front panel of my panties! To begin my transition into “Erica”, I first put on my new blond wig and admired myself in the mirror. I then slipped on my new heels, and my bra. With shaking hands, I unpacked my makeup. I wasn’t going to do a full makeup job as it would be too difficult to clean off in my hurry to get back on the road (I was already running late). I had difficulty putting on my false eye lashes. I was so excited that my hand trembled. I put on some light eye and face makeup, and touched my lips with gloss. I stepped into my short black dress slipped the halter tie behind my neck. Picking up my cheap gold hoop necklace, my trembling fingers affixed the clasp. I looked up at the mirror behind the sink, and admired “Erica”. She was back! The cocksucking, sperm loving, slut! Balanced on my 4” heels, I moved out to the living room. He was waiting for me, dressed only in silky athletic shorts. I could tell that he was a body builder…and that he was excited to see me! He admired me, lifted up my dress to view my hard cock in my white panties, and my white garter belt holding up my black stockings. “Nice. Very Nice” he smiled. I felt pleased. I moved to him and we held each other, his hands groping my ass. I kissed his neck, but didn’t want to overdo the affection not knowing what he was interested-in. I was excited, my Viagara-hard cock pressed against the stretchy lace material of my panties, and I was worried that I was going to cum on the spot! I pulled away and softly dropped to my knees. His shorts slid off easily and his cock stood at attention. It was beautiful, even better in-person than in the photo. I kissed the tip of his cock head and it twitched. I heard my man groan as I slowly lowered my mouth on his hard shaft. Oh, how I loved this: dressed in my new sexy outfit, on my knees, with a wonderful cock in mouth! I started working my magic, slowly and lovingly. I then put my fist around his erection and began to stroke him in rhythm with my sucking. At one point in my sucking, I looked up and asked “when you’re ready, will you cum on my face?” Stiffy smiled down at me “Sure, it that’s what you want. I’d like to fuck you, too.” We discussed safe fucking and we were moving to prepare, but I just couldn’t leave his wonderful cock alone for even a moment. Knowing my time was short, I suggested that, instead, he could have me sit on the sofa and he could fuck my face. He agreed. I moved to sit on the sofa and he straddled my chest. His eager cock found my mouth and he began to pump in and out of me. My own cock was tingling in my white, stretchy lace panties under my silky dress. Again, I was afraid that I was going to cum right there, without even having to touch myself! Then he said “Oh! I’m going to cum…”, so I moved back to the floor, stocking-covered legs stretched out in front of me with my back against the sofa, and looked up at him, eagerly. He had one hand on his shaft, urgently pumping and he used the other hand to move my blond hair out of my face so he would have a clear shot. I watched his face grimace in pleasure as he worked his fist. With a grunt, he emptied the contents of his cock on my upturned face! With several spurts, his sperm fell on my face and into my mouth. Oh! This was so nice! He grunted and moaned as he jerked off on me. When he was done, I tilted my sperm covered face up to him and kissed his sensitive cock head. He smiled and twitched in appreciation. Then he lifted me to my feet. “Nice”, he smiled. I moved back down the hall to the bathroom to see myself in the mirror. Yes! I looked so sexy: long blond hair, long eye lashes, white cum dripping down chin. I went back out to ask him to take a photo of me with his phone. I knelt down and looked up, like I had been doing moments before. He positioned me in the light for a better picture, and then snapped a photo. He showed my cum-splashed image. Yes, Erica was back! I went back to the bathroom to clean up and change back to my man-clothes. Before I undressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled at seeing the sperm still on my face. With my cock tingling, I gently guided the globs of his sperm to my lips, scooping the white liquid with my finger. Then, I eagerly licked my fingers and smiled at my image in the mirror. I was happy… and still excited. OMG! Feeling my passions rising, I knew I was going to cum, with or without help! I placed my hand on my silky dress and over my panty-covered cock. I was rock hard from the Viagra and excitement. My body twitched as I touched myself, and I held back a moan of pleasure. I couldn’t help myself, or stop what was coming. With just four firm strokes on my shaft, I came. My body shook and tensed with pleasure. I could feel my cock erupting in my panties. I stood frozen for a moment, with my eyes closed. When I looked down, I saw three trails of my white cum dripping down my black stockings. I had forgotten about the stretch lace of my white panties and how my sperm must have just pulsed right through the fabric as I ejaculated. I could feel a wet spot on my dress where my hand had mashed the material against my exploding cock. Oh, this felt so good! After enjoying the moment, I knew that I needed to get back on the road to resume my travels. I would have liked to have kept my sexy things and my make-up on, but knew that I couldn’t show up at my mother’s like this. Reluctantly, I set to work in returning to my manhood. I removed the wig and splashed water on my face, and used a cotton ball to wipe away the little make-up I had applied. Still in my stockings, I felt a wet spot on the floor and realized that I must be stepping in a pool of my own semen. I smiled, and leaned down to clean the floor with some toilet tissue. My load of cum must have been larger and more powerful than I thought. It has shot out of the lace front of my panties, had run down the inside of my dress, then down my stockings, and finally to the floor. Nice! I then undressed, pulled on my boxers and stuffed my girly things back in their plastic sacks. I finished dressing, looked at my image one more time in the mirror (I looked normal – other than a slight flush from my orgasm), and then went out to say good bye. Stiffy greeted me and I sensed that he had enjoyed our time together. We agreed to do this again (which might actually work), and he indicated that the next time, he wanted to fuck me. I agreed. We shook hands (it felt natural but was kind of odd, to think about. I had just sucked his cock!), and I dashed off, late in my travels to see my mother. Erica is indeed back. #147 is completed. Update (11/16/12): Its Friday night. My wife is out for the evening. What should I do? I’d like some cock, but don’t want the hassle of posting. I still can’t find a reason to meet-up with Dick. He can’t cum. He wants a relationship. So, although I have an opportunity to go see him, I have decided not to go. Instead, I will go shopping. Later. So, I went to Sears at the mall and found a “clearance” XL black bustier with silver studs on the padded breasts and nice elastic garters. No matching black panties, so I will have to find something that coordinates with it. Yes! It was exciting to be shopping again. So I bought it (and browsed through the racks of panties). I can’t wait to wear my new corset, attached to white or black hose, on my back, legs in the air, and “stiffy” fucking me! Nice! Next on my list is a black “choker” collar necklace, red and black string bikini panties, and a white or red garter belt. I hope to go shopping again next Friday night when my wife and daughters will be away. Although I would love to make love to “Stiffy” (he has told me that his friends call him “Bubba”), or meet-up with some new cocks, I think I will relax for the weekend and just be by myself. I can enjoy a cocktail, dress, take some pics, and then masturbate. Maybe I will go out for dinner first. I could wear some feminine things under my clothes and maybe apply a touch of light make-up that only I could detect. That could provide a sexy thrill for the start of my weekend. More to follow.  Update (Friday 11/16/12): I gave up my opportunity for a date, and a fucking, with Bubba. He just seemed lukewarm in his emails back to me. A girl needs some romancing, you know! If he had come on stronger, I would have gone down to see him. Now, I have decided not to go out tonight. So, then I started watching cum-compilations on xHamster and just watching the cocks unload their cum in the mouths of those girls! Hmmmm! Nice! Now I want a cock! But driving to Bubba is an hour’s drive, so I won’t go. Sad. Earlier that day, I had researched “garter belts” on-line at Sears, Kohl’s, Penney’s and Macy’s. I checked Victoria’s secret as well, but they are too expensive. I found a sale price on a garter belt at Kohl’s but nothing noteworthy anywhere else. So, I went to Kohl’s to shop. To my delight, I searched the panty department and found what I was looking for: a sexy pink with black lace garter belt and panty set. I scooped-up a size small garter belt and a size medium matching, full-back bikinis. I didn’t buy the matching bra, but I did buy a black sting bikini panty to go with my new bustier… which, I might add, I am wearing right now! I went home with my treasures and changed. Now, I’m at TGI Friday’s for dinner. On the outside, I’m wearing jeans and a sport coat. Underneath, I have on my new bustier, black panties, white stockings, gold choker pendant necklace, my false eye lashes and just a touch of make-up. I’m wearing my eye glasses to reduce the risk of someone noticing my eye make-up. I don’t want anyone to notice… or do I? Hmmmm…. My waitress is a sexy, petite thing, named Diana. My (Viagra-enhanced) cock is hard in my panties. I feel so sexy! I’m on my second Grey Goose on the rocks and I can feel my sexual restraint slipping. I hope the cups of my bustier don’t stand out too much. I feel so sexy sitting here in a public place. My jeans can cover my hard-on in my panties. I just want a cock… Here’s dinner…more to come, or cum! I’m eating and typing at the same time. Diana, my waitress, checks on me frequency. She holds my gaze when we talk and my cock twitches in my panties! I’m not sure, but I think she detects my eye make-up and false eye lashes. She doesn’t let on, if she does notice. She just smiles sweetly. She certainly isn’t turned-off, either. Already into my second vodka-rocks, I really don’t care. In fact, just the possibility of her suspecting, is sexually exciting! Forlorn for some cock, I decided to send an email to Dick. I was d***k and just needed loving. Thankfully, he did not respond. I finished up and decided to drive home. I could feel the tug of my garters on my legs and the nylon stockings rubbing under my pants, as I walked to the car. Nice! Once home, I fixed a vodka rocks and I went upstairs to check my make-up. I liked how I looked and touched-up my lips and roughed my cheeks. I went back downstairs and, as to be expected, went back to my xHamster account, kind of like the moth to the flame. I had several invitations to respond to and a couple of messages. I was hooked. Before I knew, it, I was watching porn videos and fantasizing about what I saw: facials, cumshots, smiling woman. So, I did it. I opened-up CraigsList and checked both Delaware and Philadelphia. No posting of M4T looked interesting. Shame. So…hesitating, I considered what I should do. I was mostly dressed, with my makeup done. My wife was away and would never know. What the heck! I posted! The subject line of my posting was “Anyone need a release?” I described what I wanted to do: “Anyone just need to release their manhood down the throat of an appreciative CD? Even car sex would be fine. I just need a cock and seed now...”, and attached a couple pictures of “Erica”, and a couple of smiling girls receiving their facials. I submitted my post, my heart was racing. The vodka kept me from thinking about the consequences of what I was doing, but I was so excited. I sat back to wait for the responses. Within minutes, hits started to arrive. There must be so many guys who check CraigsList for sex! I always found this part thrilling. The expectation, the excitement, the possibilities. I received the usual one-liners, and requests for more pictures. From experience, I know these never materialize into something more than endless emails. Even the guys that seemed real were just too far away to drive. Then an interesting hit came-in. The guy sounded articulate and was in a hotel out by the Philadelphia airport. This, too, was a bit of a drive, but in my light headed and horny state, I decided to do it. I accepted his invitation, printed out a map (that I needed to remember to destroy after I returned), gathered my girly stuff, and headed out. I was still dressed under my jeans and collared shirt. I removed my socks, and wearing loafers, just hoped that my pant legs would hid my white hose-clad ankles. I arrived, parked, and went it. I had his room number. I walked through the lobby, with throbbing music coming out of the lounge. I made it to the elevator without anyone noticing me. Then, as I went to get on the elevator, a young (mid-20’s) girl got off. She looked at me, and I think she noticed my makeup. She looked at me as the elevator doors slide closed. I smiled to myself. When I arrived at the room number I had been given, his door was ajar. I knocked and I heard a male voice call out, “come in”. So I pushed the door open and did just that. A handsome, mid-40’s guy smiled at me, and indicated the bathroom I had requested in my emails, to get changed. I smiled and went in and closed the door. I slide out of my jeans, stepped into my little black halter top dress and heels. My excited cock pressed against the stretchy black fabric of my new string bikinis. I was so excited! Atop my spike heels, I stepped out into the bedroom. My friend wore a white, tight, Under Armor top and jeans. His look and smile make me think he may be gay, but what a body! He was sitting on the bed, and now he stood to greet me. He smiled, “nice”, as he admired me. I always liked this part! We held each other and then, without a word, I dropped to my knees. I slid his jeans off and then he pulled his top over his head. “Wow!” I said. “What a nice body. You must workout a lot”. He indicated that, yes, he did. As I slid his boxers down, his erect cock jumped out to greet me. It was beautiful! He was shaved, and his cock was stiff with excitement. I kissed his cock head and his cock twitched. Reaching up with my hand, I lowered my mouth on his erection, and lost myself in my passion. He interrupted my blowjob and lifted me to my feet. We hugged and he held me back to look at me again, his eyes scanning my body and my outfit. Then he dropped to his knees! Oh, no! I thought as he slipped my sensitive erect cock from my panties and lowered his mouth on me! “Ah!” I heard myself moan, “Careful…ah! Ah! Shit!” and I climaxed. I was embarrassed but he didn’t seem to mind. He sucked me off to completion. “You were excited!” he said and he stood again, indicating that I could resume my sucking. My head was dazed from my climax, but I again sank to my knees. His beautiful cock, standing straight-out, begged for my lips. I submitted, using my mouth and hands to masturbate him. I wanted his cum! He didn’t last much longer than I had. With a grunt, he pulled out of my mouth. Holding my head with one hand, he began jerking off with the other hand. From my position on my knees, I looked up to watch his face as he looked down at me. With a sudden shake and tremor, he shot his load on my face and into my mouth! Oh, nice! When he was done, he helped me to my feet and smiled. I moved to the bathroom to change. I smiled at my image in the mirror as I passed the sink and went into the bathroom. I lifted my dress to wipe my face and then stepped into my jeans and put on my shirt over my dress. Sexy! I removed my wig, but left on the eye lashes and make-up. With my glasses on, I should be able to pass. My head was spinning from the sex and the vodka! I went back to the bedroom area. He was dressed. We hugged and he promised to get in touch if he was in the area again. I departed in a daze and made it to the car with no one noticing. I loved this! Somehow, I drove home. When I arrived I double checked my email for more Craigslist responses. With the taste of sperm in my mouth, I would have gone out again to give another blow job! Alas! Only one-liners and picture requests. So, I went upstairs. I looked at myself in the mirror. My make-up was a mess and one of my eye lashes was missing. Hmmm… I will have to remember to look for it around the house and in the car just in case I dropped it here. I removed my make-up, and undressed down to my black stilky bikini panties. I slipped between the sheets, feeling sexy and satisfied, and instantly fell asl**p. #148 What an evening… Today: My sexy wardrobe, hidden in my office file cabinet, is complete, but I still want a Victorian choker necklace, or a strand of pearls, and a red or white garter belt… 