Submission -poem SeXStoRY

[Written in 2007] submission, submission not a deadline nor an entry a state of being, an act unjustified by any other emotion? (getting down on one's knees, begging for the collar) how little is not enough, how big is too much? shaking and shivering yet aiming to keep calm composure (Do you wish to be pleased today? -tomorrow, everyday?- How do you desire to be pleased? Every part of my body is for you) Is it natural Or developed from c***dhood memories? Does one embrace it Or keep it tucked away? (Bind me, gag me, choke me as you desire, whip me, slap me, put hot wax on me crap, isn't this about you, not me!) Sitting, fudgeting, emotions building up, Screaming, shouting begging to be released. (I'll do anything for you I'll let you have your way with me!) Wrapped up inside the Tiniest Pandora's box "Open me" on the ribbon "Too much to handle" inside the card. (treat me like the bitch cock whore slut that I am... f***e me to gag on you repeatedly till I pass out.. No! This is all about your desires, not mine, right?) A prize? A gift? A curse? A damnation? (Please, please notice me, take care of me, I'm too easily manipulated through physical means) Afraid to open the mouth To speak darkest desires Is it fear of rejection? Or fear of acceptance? (Drooling, slurping, gurgling, moaning, screaming, squirming, shaking, shuddering, twitching) Sub -or slave- frenzy "So called experts" call it. As if they have experienced it ever. "Take a deep breath, do some research, go to a few play parties and meet some members in the community." (Screw the world! I deviated from normalcy only to be scolded once again? The only constant I know is this desire to serve!) Confused, depressed Resorting to the shadows of vanilla, Waiting patiently for one who understands But not too careful to smother. (Where is the balance? Desiring to serve constantly and yet still have a life? I can't abandon all of my problems forever...) A deep breath A long sigh Is there any reconciliation for this strong compelling f***e that threatens to invade every ounce of my body, and control from the inside out? (Keep it all inside, don't let anyone ever know, they'll use it to your disadvantage) Long days Longer nights Close the eyes Wish it all away (Are these the inner feelings of a 'twue' submissive?)