Fist time ballbusting SeXStoRY

In the first place, I wish to appologize for my poor language. My mother language is Dutch, so I will give it a try in English. But I can't guarantee no mistakes. So, punish me for every mistake if you like. I'm a male of 40 years old, looking younger than I am. For the first time in my live, I wish to experience an extreme hard ballbusting session. I look on regulary basis on the bdsm-video's, looking for men who get ballbusted by beautifull (or less beautifull) women, sadistic women. And damned, I'm jealous as hell. What makes me longing to ballbusting? I don't know. But I know I want it, I want to be tortured very hard on my genitals. I want a woman busting my nuts for hours and hours, squeezing my balls and hurting me as much as she can. I want her to kick my nuts even when I'm screaming, when I'm begging, untill I can't take any more pain. Well, I guess it is a longing since I was a k** of 14 years old. At school, some guys liked to mess around with some other k**s and so they beat me up after gym. With a knife, they cut of my sportclothes so I was just in my underwear, and they hold me on my back on the floor. One of those five guys puts the point of the knife right on my balls and started te hurt me. Then he grabbed my balls and squeezes for minutes and minutes. I was crying for help, tears in my eyes, pain running through every vain in my balls. Then, he gives me a few kicks with his fist in my ballsack. I felt the pain the whole day. At night, I masturbated for the first time in my life. Afterwards, my balls ache even much more and they were sore for at least a day or five. I want to be beaten and kicked in my balls again, but this time by a woman, it doesn't matter if she is young or old, a beauty or not, ... as long as she is sadistic and kicks hard. Any candidates living in Belgium or the Netherlands? With kind regards...x