a hard Time SeXStoRY

I had difficulty sl**ping alone after we parted, so I imagined that I was stillbound thightly on your bed. I felt so safe there, so cared for – especially when the heavy, sweaty, rough playing was over and you would hold my bound hands and ie next to me. It still amazes me that I can fall asl**p with my legs tied spread and my wrists tied tightly together. I would have thought that some part of my subconscience would rebel against such constraints. Such times teach me a great deal about myself and my needs. And now, there is a period of isolation I must endure before I can again afford to give myself up to fantasy, there are the sl**pless nights and the lonely days, and there are the moments when I wonder how I manage to give up the intimacies associated with such activities, and why I f***e myself to endure such a loss. When you picked me up at the airport upon my arrival, I was anxious to begin. It is important that the initial feelings of apprehension be dealt with quickly and that thrust be established. The flight had been long. Had I planned better, I would have flown with a crotch rope tied tightly under my short dress. It would have provided a nice transition as well as a pleasant distraction. But I was too rushed in leaving this time. Remind me to next time. When we were at your home and you asked me to dress erotically for you I started to feel relaxed. As soon as you begin to take control I can begin to give it up. So I hurried to put on my black stockings and garter belt, black panties and bra, black leather opera gloves, and black stiletto heels. Just putting on such clothes makes me excited, it starts the anticipation. I wondered if you would be gentle or rough, if you would remove my oanties immediately or wait, if you would be able to control your own emotions as well as mine. You didn't disappoint me, but you did leave me frustrated that first night. How naughty of you. As I kneeled on your coffee table, I watched you lay out your ropes, a black blind fold, a large red ball gag and several types of vibrators. I felt instandly uncomfortable, not just from kneeling on the hard wood, but because of the uncertainly associated with beginning anything. I tried to let your voice and the soft music put me a ease. Once you bound my wrists I began to feel better. Familiar ground. I rested my weight on my bound forearms and lowered my head so that you could fasten the gag. You proceeded to wrap a long doubled length of rope around my waist and knot it in the center of my stomach. The ends you ran between my legs to form a crotch rope („so you would leave the panties on for awhile“) and under the waist rope at my back. I didn't see you run the ends to the back of the coffee table and under it, but I knew that you had when they emerged at the front of the coffee table where my wrists were. After you tied the ends off at my wrists, I could feel the tension. I pulled a time or two to test the rope, each time making the crotch rope tighter. You then spread my legs wider and tied each ankle to its respective leg of the coffee table. I wasn't sure how long you were going to leave me like that. My knees were already sore and I felt terribly exposed. Once you relaxed on the couch behind me, thought, I knew that I would be there for awhile. That realization was mysteriously calming. You didn't start to sexuallly touch me for quite some time. At first you just gently stroked my waist by reaching from your position on the couch. Then you traced the outline of my panties, under my bottom and between my legs. Again, you took time to relax on the couch and just admire me. Every so often you would lean forward and stroke the insides of my thighs. By the time you unsnapped my bra and cupped my breasts in your hands I was slightly trembling. It had been so long since I had been touched in such a provocative way. Men are not known for taking their time during sexual activities. Your patience impressed me, although I could have done without so much of it at the time. I don't always know what's best for me, though, that's why I leave such decisions for you. My favorite time together was saturday. While a whole day does not usually qualify as a favorite `time´, our playing went on for so many hours on Saturday that I think of it as one time. Do you remember how the day began? I was so shocked when you invited me to keep you company n the bathroom while you took a jacuzzi. That was a first for me. Then when I saw the red wooden chair positioned facing the tub and the many coils of rope arranged on the countertop I understood the true meaning of the invitation. You were obviously planning on starting the day early – what a pleasant surprise. I was in a state of semi undress when you approached me that morning – wearing only my black garter belt, black stockings, and white stiletto heels – so I felt a bit embarrasses and probably looked a bit flushed when you had me sit in the chair with my heels hooked into its crossbar and then proceeded to tie my knees to the arms of the chair so that my legs were f***ed apart. I even resisted out of such a feeling of embarrassment, knowing that you could and would look directly between my legs as you bathed. And then you tied my elbows and wrists togheter behind my back and over the back of the chair, which made my naked breasts feel even more naked. I should have known that you would fasten a rope to the D-ring at the back of my ball gag and f***e my head back. You have a wonderful way of making an already uncomfortable position almost unbearable. And so I moaned, groaned and mumbled my inaudible protestations a you gave a final pull to make sure that my head was being tied as far back as possible. You could have at least allowed me the privilege of watching you bathe. I would have enjoyed that. I love watching a man wash himself, especially when he has an erection (as I imagined you did as you looked upon me). I was so excited that I was sure you had noticed (even before you began stroking me between my legs). The thought of you noticing how excited I had become made me even more excited. My breathing quickened and my heart pounding as you reached from your bath to pull on my nipples, dripping hot bath water down my stomach and between my legs. I sensed your pleasure and visualized you stroking yourself while looking at me. It is such a boost to my female ego to give you such satisfaction. My favourite part of saturday, thought, was when you had me tied on your bed. My black stockings, black garter belt and black panties were such a visual contrast to your rose colored duvet. It was kind of you tie me in my favorite position rather than think of your own preferences. I always value that type of generosity in a man. And so I smiled under my ball gag as you bound my ankles under my thighs, tighly securing each ankle to its respective thigh, and then tying each thigh to its respective post at the bottom of the bed so that my legs were properly spread apart. The crotch rope wasn't necessary, I was already so excited. The added rubbing each time that I squirmed only made me more sexuallly frustrated and more anxious to have you replace the crotch rope with your personal attention. Tying my wristsand elbows together behind my back was cruel – it f***ed me to arch my back the whole time. But the most cruel part was the blindfold, it prevented me from watching your expressions as you fondled and caressed me. It also prevented me from seeing you gather the objects and toys you would later use for our mutual satisfaction. I was exhausted by the time that you untied the knee ropes and turned me over on my stomach. My arms had fallen asl**p and every muscle in my body ached, including my jaw from the prolonged use of the large ball gag. Still, you turned me over and raised me onto my knees so that my bottom was sticking up. As you untied my arms and retied my wrists together over my head, I wondered how I would endure. I knew that the new position would mean at least another hour of playing. I didn't think that I was up to it. And yet the touch of your hands as you molded me into such position made my sexual desires begin to stir again. It amazes me how quickly you learned what I needed. Betrayed by my own body, I lifted my bottom higher into the air and tried not to tremble as you cut the crotch rope of me. When you drew my wrists over my head and down my back, forcing my chest to bear my weight, I knew you had a plan. Usually you would have brought the rope which you used to cinch my wrists down my back and between my legs into a crotch rope, so as to limit my struggling. This time, however, you wrapped the ends around my waist, securing my wrists to the center of my lower back. You obviously wanted me completely vulnerable to your touch. I willingly submitted as you stroked the insides of my upper thighs and indicated that you wanted my legs spread farther apart. It was a wonderful feeling to find your naked body kneeling behind me as my reward for having behaved. I will try to behave more often, I thought at the time. Later, I recalled how delightful being punished by you can be and reconsidered. I think I'll still misbehave at times – I like it when you have to f***e me into doing something that we both will enjoy. I enjoy the hard time you give me before you stroke me tenderly and allow me to release. I never tols you how selfish it is of me to allow to you use me. Truly it is selfish of me. It gives me great emotional satisfaction to have the ability to become your fantasy, to feel that I am the one you dream of when you are alone at night. I would like to live forever as such a fantasy. Perhaps that's how I have become so good at hiding the reality and only visiting infrequently. Still, the selfishness of it concerns me at times, prompting me to give even more of myself. I begin to wonder if I am giving enough and if you are taking enough for yourself. Yet, the more you take, the more selfish I feel, and the more I need to give. What a cycle to be caught in...